This may come as a surprise to you but as long as humans are having sex and engaging in BDSM, new kinks are always going to be discovered. This is a question I get asked a lot, and my answer is: You especially need a downloadable checklist if you’re experienced or advanced. Do you need a BDSM kink list if you are experienced or advanced? Not only that, but it will be much safer too, since you will have communicated your expectations and limits. A scene will go much smoother if you know your partner’s boundaries and desires. Think about it like reading the instruction manual before building a piece of furniture. You also need a BDSM checklist because it’s important to discuss any activities or behaviors with a partner before engaging in them. PRESS + HOLD TO SAVE THIS IMAGE AND SHARE For example, I didn’t know about consensual non-consent until we had read about it in our checklist. So having a BDSM list of new kinks can really open your mind to fun possibilities that you may want to explore. Ensure that you engage in BDSM safely, sanely, and consensuallyĪs they say, you don’t know what you don’t know. ![]() The three main reasons why you need a BDSM kink list are: Needless to say, discussing our kinks and BDSM limits was a great way to segue into an intense scene. Not only did it make communication less awkward, but comparing lists also was a huge turn on. When my Dom and I first began our journey as a Dom/sub couple, a checklist was a great way to talk about subjects that seemed embarrassing at first. It is used as a way for individuals to explore their own interests and boundaries, and to communicate them to others who may be involved in BDSM play or relationships. What exactly is a BDSM checklist?Ī BDSM kink checklist is a list of desires, activities or behaviors that are associated with BDSM. I’ll even share my free checklist that you can download below. But how do you actually use one? I’ll be covering all of that here, plus we’ll go over some of the most common kinks. A good kink checklist will also help you discover your BDSM limits over time. However, you need to have one that is reputable and comprehensible. You probably already have a basic BDSM kink list that you found when you first began your journey. William Lynch, Will Sex Coach Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: Ī.E.When you’re engaging in the kink lifestyle, it’s important to have a BDSM checklist. It all just starts with honest communication and an adventuresome spirit! When providing this list to clients, go through the list with them to ensure they know what each item is-the only thing worse than jumping into something new is signing up for something you don’t understand (Anyone who’s ever signed a home security system contract knows this all too well)! For example, does your client know all of these terms: anal plug, prostate massage, bondage tape, rimming, pet play, cunnilingus, hot wax, nipple clamps, or sounding?Įducation is key to practicing risk-aware consensual kink. If they’ve already begun exploring kink, step right up to a hardcore list. For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list. There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way. All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. ![]() Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist! ![]() A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life.
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